Omfg
by Zen Rokuva
Summary: In this story Zack is as 'bossy' with cloud as usual. he is constently playing pranks on him and conning Reno into helping him do it. Then there is a huge prank that Zack and Rufus decide to pull on Reno and Cloud that ends up back firing.
1. Chapter 1

Title: OMFG

Chapter one: coming back

Authors notes:

I originally wrote this just to entertain my friends. This is a Cloud, Zack and Reno, Rufus yaoi. (And maybe others I'm not sure yet.) This is for mature readers only. Oh, wait, then maybe I shouldn't be writing this. LOL! =P

Setting:

On a train back to Nebelheim. Cloud had been visiting his mom and had decided to take Zack with him.

"Umm…Cloud… are you still mad at me?" The entire train ride so far had been silent. The blonde was still holding a grudge on Zack because he had accidently walked in on Clouds mom getting out of the shower.

"Humph" he had figured the blonde wouldn't answer. He sighed and looked around. Everything was as it had been when they got on. Even their forgotten drinks sat there, the ice slowly melting. The door to their car was shut and locked and the blinds were down. A conniving grin spread over the brunets face. He slowly moved down towards Clouds waist.

"Ahhhh!" Cloud gasped in surprise to Zacks actions.

"ZACK! Don't do that! I have never stuck ice down your pants! Much less held it there!" Zack knew this was the reaction he would get. He took this as an opportunity to steal a kiss. Cloud was much more fun to kiss when he was mad. (More tong action)

Several minuets passed before they had to break away for air.

Zack: "Cloud, let's go out to eat when we get back. Some place nice."

Cloud: "I'd like that, but nothing like last time."

Zack knew he was referring back to the time and Clare's when he had put icyhot in Clouds pants. He didn't see what the big deal was. You couldn't tell and he had booked a private room. Zack didn't want to think about that incident anymore so he decided to turn the rest to the train ride into a make out session, which Cloud didn't object to.

* * *

"Umm… Zack… Why did you pick La Moore?" The entire drive to the restaurant he hadn't gotten any answers. The only information he had gotten was in Zack's phone call one hour earlier, which went something like this:

Zack: "Hey cloud, what's up? You got any plans for today?"

Cloud: "Nothing much really. No I don't think I have any plans. Why?"

Zack: "Good! Someone will be by to drop off your package. I'll pick you up in one hour. Bye!"

Indeed someone had come to his door to drop off a package. Now, what Zack had done wasn't what pissed Cloud off. What was in the package had done that. It was a light powder lilac suit, powder blue shirt, and a powder lilac tie.

Cloud: "Why did you pick purple?"

Zack: "It's lilac and it brings out your eyes."

That made him blush immensely.

Cloud: "Soo… You still didn't tell me why you picked La Moore."

Zack: "Because you don't eat in front of everyone there. You get to eat in private rooms."

Cloud was pissed now. "I already said nothing like last time!"

Zack: "I'm not going to do anything. Not at the restaurant anyway."

He decided to change the subject before he gave Zack anymore ideas. "So what are we going to do today besides going out to eat?"

Uh oh, he could tell he just gave Zack another idea. He could tell it was going to be painful, perverted, or both either way he knew he wasn't going to like it.

* * *

Hey this is Zen. Sorry this chapter is so short. I did it this way because it's an introductory chapter. So is chapter two so it may be short two, I don't really know yet.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: OMFG

Chapter two: Reno's house

Authors notes:

I originally wrote this just to entertain my friends. This is a Cloud, Zack and Reno, Rufus yaoi. (And maybe others I'm not sure yet.) This is for mature readers only. Oh, wait, then maybe I shouldn't be writing this. LOL! =P

Setting:

In La Moore during desert of Zack and Clouds date.

Zack: "So, did you enjoy yourself?"

Zack knew this was a pointless question. Their dinner had been very romantic, which was his plan, although at times he thought this might have pissed off Cloud. His meal was a T-bone steak, potato soup (which he had shared with cloud), and a Martine. Cloud had grilled chicken, Zack's soup, and a long island ice tea. And now, they were sharing a molt ant chocolate cake.

Cloud: "Very much. I'm glad I came."

He emphasized this by licking chocolate off his lips very slowly. Zack knew he was doing this to tease him.

Zack: "Well then, can't wait to show you what we're doing when we're done."

At this Cloud immensely blushed and Zack loved how he looked when he was embarrassed.

'He's going to be soo pissed when he finds out what we're really going to do.' "We'll leave once you're done."

Cloud simply smiled and looked at Zack with very devilish features. "I'm ready to go anytime."

'Time to put this plan into action. Damn, I hope Reno's not busy, I'll really need his help to pull this off!'

They left dinner soon after that and Zack headed straight to Reno's house to set his plan into action.

This was getting annoying, this whole time was great but Cloud wasn't getting any information out of Zack. He had tried everything he had even teased him during dinner, doing this always gave him the creeps. Now he didn't even know where they were going.

Cloud: "Sooo… Where are we goin?"

Zack: "You'll see when we get there."

'OH SHIT! He said that with that Cheshire cat smile! I knew it; he is planning something like last time! What the fuck am I going to do! ?'

The whole rest of the ride to their destination was a panic attack for him. The last time Zack had planned something like this he had put Cloud into a bunny girl outfit and took pictures. (And Reno had helped!) This time would probably be worse! A little while later his suspensions were answered. As they pulled up to Reno's house Cloud knew he was right. It was going to be something perverted, painful, or both either way he knew he wasn't going to like it.

Cloud: "Umm… Why are we at Reno's house?" 'Please don't let it be something bad.'

Zack: "I need to barrow something from him."

'HOLLY CRAP! He still has that smile on his face! I'm gonna die!"

Zack: "Hey, Reno open up! Cloud and I are here to pick something up!"

'Mother fucker better not of bailed!'

Zack had been pounding on Reno's door for about ten minutes. He was starting to that he'd have to find something else to do and quick. Then it dawned on him.

Zack: "OF COURSE!"

Cloud: "WHAT!"

Zack: "I'll tell Reno later, but I'm gonna barrow what I need. I have a spare key and I know where the stuff is."

'Well Cloud looks scared. Wonder if he knows what's up'

At that he pulled his key out and they entered the house. After they entered they looked around a bit dumb struck. Reno's house was clean! And it didn't smell like alcohol and cigarettes! They stood there for several minutes before Zack remembered what he was there for.

Zack: "K, follow me."

Cloud: "Umm… What are we looking for?"

Zack: "A box. He always keeps it in his bedroom closet."

As they opened the closet however, they found something else.

Cloud: "OH MY GOD!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: OMFG**

Chapter three: the embarrassing moment

Authors notes:

I originally wrote this just to entertain my friends. This is a Cloud, Zack and Reno, Rufus yaoi. (And maybe others I'm not sure yet.) This is for mature readers only. Oh, wait, then maybe I shouldn't be writing this. LOL! =P

* * *

Setting: Reno's house

Zack: "Reno?"

When Zack had opened the door he hadn't found a closet. Instead he had found a half naked Reno with his pants unbuttoned and his shirt falling off his shoulders. To make things worse, he had been dancing to 'Hey Mister Wonderful'!

'Oh my god, what the hell is he doing!'

Reno stood there silent for a moment looking very embarrassed and surprised.

Computer: "Reno?"

At that he slammed his computer shut.

Cloud: "WHAT THE FUCK? His computer just fucking talked!"

Zack: "Reno, that sounded an awful lot like Rufus!"

Reno: "SHUT UP!"

'Oh my god, He sounds like Cloud had when we showed the pictures of him as a bunny girl to Sepheroth!'

* * *

After that embarrassment, Reno wanted nothing more that to hide in a hole. But first, he needed to find out why the SOILDER and SOILDER wannabe were at his house.

Setting: Reno's living room

Reno: "Why the hell are you here!"

Zack: "Came to barrow something."

'HOLLY SHIT! It's that smile! Clouds gonna get it. He looks scared shitless; maybe ill cut him some slack.'

Reno: "Don't have it"

Zack: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE IT!"

Reno: "Let Rude barrow it."

Zack: "Why would he need it?"

Reno: "For Cissy."

'I coulda sworn he just gagged!'

Zack: "So, what were you doin in that closet? Kinda weird that you were dancing to Her Mister Wonderful."

Cloud: "There were pictures of Rufus on the walls."

Zack: "Oh yah I forgot."

Reno: "SHUT UP!"

Zack: "Come on man, we're just teasing. We know it wasn't Rufus."

*BAMN*

Rufus: "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!" WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LOG OFF? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TWO HERE?"

At that moment Dark Nation came bursting through the door and pinned Reno to the floor.

Reno: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Rufus: "NATION! Get off Reno!"

At this command Dark Nation reluctantly got off Reno and went to stand outside the door to Reno's house.

Reno: "Their here to barrow somefin. Unfortunately, Rude has is now."

Rufus: "Why?"

Reno: "for Cissy."

'Can't tell what he's thinkin.'

* * *

Rufus was on his way home and decided it was time to relax. He got out his cell and hit speed dial.

"Yo, what up?"

Rufus: "Hello Reno."

Reno: "Hey, boss, what you need yo?"

Rufus: "Reno, I'm bored."

Reno: "Oh?"

There was a hint of anxiety in Reno's voice.

Rufus: "Can you entertain me again?"

Reno: "Uh… sure boss."

'Hmm this should be interesting, especially since 'he' doesn't know Reno's doin this'

Rufus: "Ok get on the chat line I set up for you and I'll put on some music."

Reno: "Ok. Bye boss."

Now he really sounded nervous. It was getting Rufus excited. He got out his laptop, logged onto the video chat line and picked his favorite song. (Hey Mister Wonderful.) Now he just leaned back and watched Reno. To his amusement, Reno actually danced or him. 'He was being very obedient today, must have had a bad day. I'll have to ask after he's done.' Then he heard something in the background.

"OH MY GOD!"

"Reno!"

By now Reno had stopped dancing. He decided to find out what was happening.

Rufus: "Reno."

"Oh my god! His computer fucking talked!"

At that the screen that showed him Reno went black and the chat said he had logged off. "What the Fuck?"

Rufus: "Driver"

Driver: "yes sir."

Rufus: "Go to Reno Sinclair's house immediately!"

Driver: "Yes Sir."

He was pissed and was determined to find out what had happened. Those other two voices, he had a feeling that they belonged to Cloud and Zack.

"DAMN IT!

About ten minutes later they were at Reno's house. He was in such a hurry he forgot to tell Nation to stay.

*BAMN*

Rufus: "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!" WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LOG OFF? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TWO HERE?"

He was right, it was Cloud and Zack. At that moment Dark Nation came burst in and pounced on Reno pinning him to the floor.

Reno: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Rufus: "NATION! Get off Reno!"

After Nation went to sit by the door Reno sat up to explain.

Reno: "they're here to barrow somefin. Unfortunately Rude has it now."

Rufus: "Why?"

Reno: "For Cissy."

'Oh my God! I think I'm gonna puke.'

Reno: "Sorry boss but…"

Rufus: "It's ok Reno, You'll just owe me."

'He looks a little worried. I think I know just how he'll pay me back to. Time to call Hojo.'

* * *

Hey this is Zen, I'm so so so sorry for not updating this sooner. I lost my notepad and my flash drive. Then I started having computer problems. I plan to keep it updated more regularly from now on. Question, who do u think 'He' is when Rufus says: 'Hmm this should be interesting, especially since 'he' doesn't know Reno's doin this'? I'll let you think about it for awhile, cuz I'm not gonna reveal that until chapter 7. Please review and tell me what you think so far. I'm very grateful if you give you 'two sense' about how it's going and what type of things you might like to see happen. And if I like some of them I'll add them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: OMFG**

Chapter three: The Shot

Authors notes:

I originally wrote this just to entertain my friends. This is a Cloud, Zack and Reno,

Rufus yaoi. (And maybe others I'm not sure yet.) This is for mature readers only. Oh, wait, then maybe I shouldn't be writing this. LOL! =P

* * *

"Hello?"

Rufus: "Hello Hojo, I need something from you."

Hojo: "What for?"

Rufus: "To get Reno to pay me back. Can you think of anything?"

Hojo: "Oh…why…yess, in fact, I might already have something for the subject."

Rufus: "Great! I'll pick it up tomorrow."

At that the phone call ended and Rufus turned around to find Zack there smiling at him with a, well, mischievous smile. He hoped that he hadn't heard the conversation with Hojo but knowing his luck, he had.

Rufus: "Fair, what are your so (wicked minded) glad about?"

Zack: "Oh, ha-ha. I heard your conversation to Hojo, and I need a new prank for cloud seeing how Reno loaned out the 'other stuff'."

Rufus: "I see, well seeing how you 'interrupted' I guess you could pay me back by letting me in on your prank."

He knew Zack understood. They agreed to meet at Hojos' lab at noon to pick up the 'stuff'. Then they were going to plan the day that they were going to use it. At that Rufus left and Zack went back inside.

Cloud: "Reno"

Reno: "hmm?"

Cloud: "I…I know you lied."

Reno: "Yah…well…do you want me to tell him that I did?"

Cloud: "NO! I just…I just want to say thanks."

Reno: "Yah…well…I knew you weren't gonna like it."

At that they had to end their talk walked in looking rather (mischievous) satisfied.

Zack: "Come on Cloud. I'll drive you back to the barracks."

* * *

With a last worried glance to Reno, he left with Zack knowing the man had probably found something else to do. Surprisingly, he hadn't! Zack just drove him to the barracks like he said he would. He didn't even try to annoy him with a kiss he just said 'be careful'! In a daze he walked into the barracks thinking to himself.

'Wow, this is the weirdest day of my life. Still I wonder what this 'stuff' is. Last time it was a bunny girl! And the time before that it was I nurse and Zack had shown pictures of both to Sephiroth! What was Za"

"OH CLOUD! PLEASE GO TO THE BAR WITH ME!"

'Oh great, he's here.'

Cloud: "No."

Michéle: "Come on, I want to go dancing."

Cloud: "Your form of dancing is nasty and you only want to go to make Spider jealous."

Michéle: "…"

'Right on the money"

Michéle: "Ok, you're right."

Cloud: "Oh really." (Annoyed glance)

Michéle: "Once he gets jealous you can leave. It'll only take one or two songs."

Cloud: "Won't he be with that girl he's been trying to go straight with?"

Spider had recently been trying to date a girl for the first time to see what it was like.

Cloud: "Besides, tonight's the night Sephiroth goes to the bar; and I hate going there when he's there."

'I always think he's going to murder me."

Michéle: "You won't even be near him. He never goes near the dance floor. Come on, I'll buy."

'Damn this is pretty tempting; I could order my favorite party drink. It's pretty expensive, but no! I hate it when Sephiroth is there.'

Cloud: "No, I've had a really bad day and just want to lie down."

Jean: "You can't! You owe me for paying for your drinks one night, now it's time to pay up. Get dress we're leaving, here we got these for you just for the occasion."

Jean had just thrown him a pair of black leather skinny jeans that were too tight for him and a tight black leather sleeveless shirt that zipped up to about his pecks. They were really going to make him pay! As they headed out John said he would cover for him if Zack came by, and then they were off. When they got to the bar, Michéle immediately dragged Cloud off to the dance floor which was playing 'Take it off'.

'The gods are out to get me!'

It didn't help that Michéle was grinding against his groin. As he predicted, Spider was there with his girl who looked pissed. That's when he saw Spider sending him dagger eyes. Apparently Michéle saw to because he started pressing against Cloud harder as if to tell him to get into it more. He decided 'what the hell' and started pressing against the other man. That got a reaction from both Spider and Michéle, and surprisingly the girl to. Spider apparently had seen enough when Michéle grabbed Clouds ass and in response Cloud grabbed his ass. The 6' 1" man walked over and pried Michéle off Cloud and then turned to murder Cloud.

Spider: "WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

Cloud: "Helping Michéle, why so angry? Not like you care, you have yourself some eye candy over there."

Spider: "She isn't in this."

Cloud: "Oh? I'm sure she has thoughts about this. How do you feel about your man checking out another man?"

Woman: "Bye Spider, we can talk about this later." And she left glaring at Michéle.

Cloud: "What a bummer, can I finish dancing now?"

Spider: "NO, YOU CAN GET YOUR ASS AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND!"

Michéle: "Thanks for the dance Cloud, but I think I need to 'talk' to Spider for a few minutes with a wink at Cloud the two left arm in arm to go do god only knows what.

With that Cloud started to leave but Jean caught his arm and gave him his death glare. "You still haven't paid me back yet." With the 6' 4" ripped man loaming over him with a look that could kill Cloud knew there was no getting out of it. "Come on, let's order some drinks."

'SHIT! HE SAID SOME! He can down close to half a keg of the hard shit before he stopped for the night.'

Cloud: "Ok but go easy, I don't have a lot of money."

Jean: "Fine by me, if ya want ya don't have ta buy me drinks."

Cloud: "Are you serious? Then how would I pay you back?"

Jean: "You'll have to dance with Michéle at the barracks."

Cloud: "Charge it to my tab." 'Damn, he's gonna drain me dry, asshole.'

Then, after ordering a drink for himself, Cloud went to a table to brood over how much he was going to have to pay while other thoughts played in his head. What was it that Zack wanted that involved himself and Reno? What in the hell was he trying to get from Reno? And lastly, why in the hell was there a shadow being cast over him. He looked up to see the very face he did not want to see right now. Sephiroth. To make things worse he had one of his weird pissed off yet curious looks on his face.

Sephiroth: "Hello Cloud."

Cloud: "Hello General."

Sephiroth: "You might want to know that Zack has been planning another prank for you. You should be cautious around him for a while."

Cloud: "Oh, yah, I know. He was just at Reno's to pick up the 'stuff', but Reno had loaned it to Rude."

Sephiroth: "That's a lie, Rude wouldn't want that. Cissnei probably wouldn't go for that kind of thing."

Cloud: "What kind of thing?"

Sephiroth: "A pale pink maid outfit."

Cloud: "THAT'S WHAT IT WAS?"

Sephiroth: "Don't shout, we are inside. Yes that's what it was. Aside from that, there is something else I need to discuss with you."

Cloud: "Yah, what sir?"

Sephiroth: "You are well aware that when outside of the barracks you and the others represent Shinra. Your actions are not the type of image we want for Shinra. Please come see me tomorrow so we can discuss this further. Good bye"

'Ah shit.'

* * *

YAY! I finally got it up. Sorry it took a while but I've recently been finding out how badly being a freshman in high school sucks ass. Well, now I have people at school who are bitching me out about needing to update my story more so I may actually start. Well things might start getting interesting now. We'll have to just wait and see. ;)


	5. Appology

**I'm sorry I haven't been regularly updating my story. I know I said I would but I've been having trouble at school and family issues came up. I am on summer break and can update regularly now. I have the next few chapters done but my computer is infected and I am unable to get the files. I'm currently using my father's computer and I'm hoping to have my computer back soon. Send in any requests you have as to what to put poor Cloud or Reno through next. The next chapter is torture. **

**Zenrokuva**


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